


[eggplant emoji]

by ponytailflint (inkgeek)



Category: Black Sails
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Chatting & Messaging, F/M, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Trans Character, trans man!Silver
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-24
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2019-01-21 13:32:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 822
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12458820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkgeek/pseuds/ponytailflint
Summary: Silver can't keep track of his dick





	[eggplant emoji]

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SAMH0UND](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SAMH0UND/gifts).



> From Sam's post "someone write me a fic about modern au trans silver constantly losing his dick and flint, madi, thomas and miranda just randomly finding it in the weirdest of places"
> 
> It's very short and rather silly, but here you go :)

Thomas shuffled into the kitchen, dressing gown hanging open and hair sticking up at the back. He needed coffee. Good God, he needed coffee.

He yawned as he opened the glassware cabinet. Selecting mug at random, he turned to the coffee machine. Silver had been here. James always discarded the used grounds into the compost bin and rinsed out the reusable pod, but Silver had yet to be broken of leaving it for the next person to deal with.

If Thomas had been awake enough to roll his eyes, he would have. Instead, he opened the drawer where the fancy, one-use pods were kept, moved Silver’s dick out of the way, and selected a nice Colombian dark roast.

It wasn't until his coffee had finished brewing with the wet coughing noise that all Keurigs make that Thomas realized what had been nestled amongst the pods; right between the Sleepytime tea and the Starbucks Pike Place.

“Silver!” he shouted to the flat at large. “Come get your dick out of the coffee drawer!”

\---

“Hey,” said a deep voice from behind him.

“Hey,” James replied, without turning around. He was elbows deep washing up that John had left in the sink last night. John’s arms looped around his waist. He felt John’s forehead this against his back. “Rough day?”

“Yeah,” came the slightly muffled reply, “Max was really on me today. Dunno why. Think she and Anne might've had a row.”

“Mmm. Or maybe it's because you left the Guthrie project ‘til the last possible second?” He set a plate in the drying rack and fished a glass out of the soapy water.

“I supposed that might be part of it,” John conceded. “in my defense, I did completely forget about it.” With a sigh, John rubbed his face against the soft material of James’s jumper. “Ugh. Come cuddle me on the sofa. Thomas won't be home for hours yet and I need attention.”

“Can't. Doing the washing up you _also_ forgot to do,” he said with mock annoyance. It wasn't that big a deal, really. Silver had been up half the night tapping away at his computer; trying to get the proposal for Guthrie Ltd. finished for this morning’s presentation. And a few pots and pans were nothing to fight over.

“Oh, come ooooonnn,” John whined. “You've got a fucking dishwasher right there!” He kicked the poor, unsuspecting appliance a little harder than James thought strictly necessary.

It was true. He did have a dishwasher. However, having spent most of his life without one, James had never gotten into the habit of using it. He gave an exaggerated sigh and made a great show of being horribly inconvenienced by having to use the dishwasher. With John still wrapped around him like a needy boa constrictor, he pulled out the top rack to load it.

There, front and center, was a flaccid, beige cock.

James froze.

John leaned around him to see what was the matter. “Oh!” he said, voice suddenly bright. “I'd wondered where that got to.”

\---

madi  
  
**Silver:** madi  
  
**Silver:** my darling  
  
**Silver:** my love  
  
**Silver:** my queen  
  
**Madi:** What do you want?  
**Madi:** I’m in a meeting  
**Silver:** have u seen my  [eggplant emoji]?  
  
  
**Madi:** [eyeroll emoji]  
**Madi:** Not now.  
**Silver:** no rly  
  
**Silver:** i cant find it  
  
**Silver:** did i leave it @ ur place?  
  
**Madi:** IDK  
**Madi:** As I said  
**Madi:** I  
**Madi:** am in  
**Madi:** a meeting!  
**Silver:** nvm  
  
**Silver:** i found it  
  
**Madi:** Where?  
  
  
**Silver:** [image of a packer inside a right Caterpillar work boot on the floor][](https://i.pinimg.com/564x/10/0c/bd/100cbd3ef96bf422ba03896b28f69871.jpg)  
  
**Madi:** I swear you'd misplace your damn leg if you didn't need it to walk. **Silver:** lol yeah  
  
**Silver:** about that...  
  
**Madi:** ffs

\---

An ear-piercing shriek echoed through flat. The three men sleeping in a nest of blankets and limbs on the bed jolted awake. James fumbled for the cricket bat he insisted on keeping under the bed and Thomas fell off the edge with a yelp. John, meanwhile, crawled out from under the duvet, hair looking like he'd stuck his finger in an electrical socket.

“What the fuck?” he said, groggily, squinting in the early morning light that streamed in through the window.

“It sounded like--" James began as he got out of bed before being interrupted by Thomas's panicked voice from the floor.

“Miranda?!” He stood and, dragging a sheet with him, made for the door; James hot on his heels. Just as they reached it, the door slammed open to reveal a dripping wet Miranda in nothing but a towel.

Her dark hair hung lank around her furious face, giving her the appearance of an angry ghost from the sea. James and Thomas parted before her as she stalked toward the bed.

“John, how many times have I told you?  _ Don't leave your cock in the shower rack! _ ” She dropped the offending appendage on his lap with a wet  _ plop! _ , turned, and walked out of the room.


End file.
